Uncomplicating My Relationship with Food & Fitness
Exercise and staying active are, no doubt, important for self-care and feeling my best. However, in the past exercise has also been a form of self-harm for me. I would spend hours and hours in the gym trying to get the “perfect body.” I was also constantly trying to restrict my caloric intake. Working out in and of itself isn’t bad. For me, though, I had unhealthy goals, rooted in poor body image and hatred. I was obsessed and that was unhealthy. After my worst stint of poor body image had leveled out, every time I would try to start a workout routine, I would spiral. It would start innocently enough, but soon I would be body checking dozens of times per day and obsessing over my body again. I hated myself. I truly hated who I was and how I looked.
When I started doing intuitive eating and going “all in” with food, I had to take a break from exercise. My disordered eating was so closely linked with an unhealthy relationship with fitness. I wanted to heal, so I took months off from working out until I could focus on appreciating my body for what it could do instead of berating it for not being good enough.
I’m still untangling my complicated with both food and exercise, but here are some of the things I’m trying to remind myself of while I’m pursuing a positive and healthy relationship with fitness.
Exercising with self-love looks like...
Not expecting yourself to pick up right where you left off if you’ve taken time up
Honoring pain or discomfort and slowing down or stopping instead just pushing through (this will hurt you more in the long run)
Eating to fuel and recover, instead of earning food through exercise
Congratulating yourself for even showing up to work out
Setting realistic goals with enough of a challenge to feel proud (but not destroyed) afterward
Rest days
Stretching
Doing fun workouts you enjoy that will energize you
Setting long term goals that don’t revolve around physique or aesthetics, especially if you’re recovering from/battling body dysmorphia or an eating disorder
Focusing on how you feel instead of body checking after a workout
Wearing clothes that are comfortable and add to your confidence
This isn’t an all-inclusive list. But changing to this line of thinking has helped me reframe how I see fitness.
